tomorrow is the day

May the 3rd, 2017.

This is the day that my mom’s eyesight will be saved. All thanks to the generosity of friends, family and complete strangers.

I wish I could adequately express my sincere gratitude to you all, how I wish I could explain the relief coursing through my veins, knowing that my mommy is going to be ok. She will keep her sight. It’s overwhelming at times, and I’m just so eternally grateful.

I will be posting an update after the surgery, once I know that all has gone well. She goes in at 08h30 tomorrow, South African time.

Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers.

Love and light.
G x

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mommy; on your 50 somethingth birthday

Mommy

.facebook_1441285668319I can’t buy you a present this year, and that breaks my heart. It’s been a pretty tough year for me, financially, emotionally and physically, but as always, you were one of my constants. My support, my foundation, my rock. My person.

Our late night bbm chats that kept me sane during the first few months of the twins’ lives; our nonsense bbm chats that kept me smiling. Our shared love of sweet Rose wine (the more the safer it is for those around us). Sitting in complete silence, knowing what each other was thinking and feeling. Your hugs that banish all of the sadness in my life. Your kisses that calm me. Your unconditional love for my children. Your spoils and treats to them; your hugs and kisses..facebook_1441285760549 Your special “Nana-kiss” with Morgan-Lee. The sparkle in your eye when the twins smile at you. The smile on your face that lights up my heart.

Your Facebook posts that I wake up every single morning that involve either me or my children. Your ideas and dreams. Your happiness and sorrows. Your calm manner when I feel that my entire world is imploding around me. Your respect for the way and manner in which I raise my children. Your sneaky treats when you think I’m not looking. Your unconditional love for all of us.

The silent frustration you have when you can’t do anything more than hold me, but so often, that’s all I need. “We’ll figure it out” is something I’ve become so used to hearing from you. And somehow, we do. My fear of disappointing you so quickly washed aside with your ever constant reassurance.

Knowing that my children have the best Nana in the world, second only to my Nana, your mommy.

God I love you ma.

Happy Birthday.

Gazillions

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i’ve grown up mom

In 2011, at the age of 25.5 years old, I moved out of my mom’s house. I was married with an almost 2 year old, and I’d never been more scared in my entire life. I admit that the first few weeks in our new home were daunting and exciting and definitely eye opening! I was head of a household and didn’t really know how to be!

My mom visited my home last year, and even though it was a rushed visit, it was awesome. The reason? It was the first time that she had done so, and I’d moved out almost 2 years prior. The reason that it took so long for her to come to my new home? Not from a lack of invitations, but because it cemented the fact that I was grown up. Yes yes, I was already married and was a mom too, but whilst living in her home, I wasn’t really ‘grown up.’ Now I had my own home, my own kitchen, my own lounge, my own carport, my own garden! I had pictures on the walls, clothes strewn all over my bedroom, and she couldn’t tell me to tidy any of it up! Well technically she could, but it’s not like she could take away my dessert if I didn’t! I absolutely respected her reason for taking her time in seeing where I now lived, and since that first visit, we’ve had a few more. I still practically live at her house, with almost daily visits after work, but I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I absolutely love having her in my space, in my home. I am the eldest, the first born, and also my mom’s most dependant child.

I’m grown up mommy, but I’ll still take that hug, that kiss, and I’ll never stop calling you mommy, cause that’s what you are.

Forever and always.

Gazillions.

to my unborn babies

Earlier this week, your daddy and I found out that there isn’t just one of you in there, but two!  I would be lying if I didn’t say that I wasn’t really a little scared.  I’m still battling to grasp the concept of 2 little beings growing inside of me.

I’m worried where we’re all going to fit;  in the car, in our house and in life in general.  I picture myself popping out to the shops with a baby on each hip, M-L walking next to me, my hair a total mess (that’s actually nothing new), baby ‘stuff’ on my shirt and most likely my pants, one (or knowing my luck both of you) will be crying for something, and it really is so much for me to take in right now.

My worst fear right now is that people will see me as ungrateful, when that is so far from the truth!  I am feeling truly blessed at the fact that there are 2 of you in there;  I have friends desperate for children, to have their own little person to love, and here I am, blessed with the 2 of you, and your big sister!  I mean WOW!

But it’s not going to be easy little ones.  It’s a daily, let alone monthly struggle in our household.  Daddy is a hardworker, and he does everything in his power to provide for us.  I’m working 2 jobs and your big sister even has chores!  But one thing we have an abundance of, is love and hugs and kisses and laughter and smiles.  We may not be the richest family with regards to financial wealth, but we are beyond rich with our love.

So babies, mommy’s scared.  Mommy has even cried.  Mommy actually laughed for almost 4 hours straight when she found out that there were 2 of you in there.  But most of all, mommy loves you so very much, and can’t wait to meet you next February.

All my love

Mommy
xxx