on taking that leap of faith

We’re half way through March, and I am struggling to believe that. How is a quarter of the “new” year already nearly finished? I am still, for all intents and purposes ‘unemployed’, and every month it just becomes that little bit harder to make ends meet. I’ve always lived my life in the “here and now”, not really worrying about the future, but even living in the here and now is concerning, worrying, stressful. There’s so much craziness going on in my life right now, but almost on a daily basis I am reminded how blessed and fortunate I actually am.

I’m not talking about being thankful for having a roof over my head, food in my tummy (which I am indeed very grateful for, and sometimes, we don’t actually have food, but anyway). I’m talking about being fortunate enough to have an amazing support structure in my life, a support structure that has always had my back, constructively criticised me, and has never given up on me, even when I have. My support structure has never once left me hanging high and dry, has never once made me feel worthless and inadequate, even though those are feelings that I deal with every single day of my life.

I have a reasonable amount going on at the moment; apart from being on the job hunt daily, several times a day, I’m aupairing for Grade 5 girl which involved being up at 03h30 every morning, Monday-Friday, so that I could be at her house from 05h00-07h00. I then had to collect her from school at 16h45 and stay with her until her mom got home, which was anywhere from 19h00-20h30. I must admit that I was very relieved when her mom told me on Tuesday night that she doesn’t need me to do the morning school run anymore; it’s been a month of not seeing my own kids during the week, because of the aupairing hours. So yes, aupairing, sourcing South African products for export to the UK (3 month temporary job) and finally taking the plunge and starting up my own business. My folks have hit a really rough patch, and have been without electricity for 8 weeks (not their fault, I swear). This has forced them to find a new house, all whilst bringing the manufacturing side of their business to a grinding halt. All I have wanted to do is fix it with my imaginary magic wand, but haven’t been able to do so. New house found, lots of money needed to move in, and they simply don’t have it. So helping my mom setup online fundraising, asking for favours from friends, just adds to my already speeding brain. They’re my family, and not being able to outright help them has kicked me hard in the gut. Oh, and I also had surgery on my troublesome right knee at the end of January, and will be back in hospital on the 3rd of April to have a 10cm (yes, 10cm) abdominal hernia repaired. I’ve also got something else on the cards, but can’t say too much just yet. But I’m so incredibly excited for this, and hopefully will be able to share it with you all very soon.

The other silver lining is that (*fingers crossed*) I will hopefully be employed again come May. A job that has been in the pipeline for almost 18 months now, should be coming to fruition in the coming weeks, and I am really looking forward to getting back into the routine of a work day. Yes, I love working from home, being able to pop down to the kids’ schools, watch a sports match or fetch the kids early, but those wonderful things don’t pay my salary at month end, and I am a person who craves routine. So, without counting my eggs before they hatch, maybe 2018 just might be my year after all.

If this job does come through (send your positive vibes please) I will still be continuing with my own little business, as it’s definitely something that I can do after-hours, and if it proves to be a success, may even result in me concentrating on it full-time. But baby steps Genevieve, baby steps. So if you would like to find out a little bit more about my new business venture, click here to see what I’ve been busy with. I’m almost giddy with excitement, as I received confirmation that my samples were dispatched to me today, so by next week I’ll be able to showcase my own work – eeeeek!!

So, that’s my quick round-up; I’m trying to stay positive and believe that all will work out. It is hard some days to stay positive, to try and see some sort of silver lining, but with my amazing family and friends behind me, encouraging me, lifting me up when I can’t lift myself up, I do believe that slowly but surely, one tiresome step at a time, that I will be able to weather this shit-storm, and get through it all.

Be the reason that someone smiles today.

G

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