on making a decision, any decision

There’s something oddly calming about making a decision. Like this invisible blanket of comfort and fortitude envelopes you, and for that one moment, you feel safe. You feel ok. I’m not talking about deciding what meal to eat at your favourite restaurant, or what movie to watch on tv. I’m talking about life changing decisions, decisions that will affect you and those around you for years to come.

I am not known for my decision making, and I’m even more infamous for back tracking on any decisions that I do make. I tend to take comfort in my routine, in my norm. In what I know. And that has been hurting me.

I am far from perfect, as most people are. I know that it takes 2 to tango. But there comes a time when you have to take a step back, and take that plunge. Make that decision.

I’m currently in limbo at the moment, with a huge decision being made only yesterday. And as much as this decision is hurting someone who loves me dearly, I need to find me again. Right now I do not know who I am, and if I don’t know who I am, how can I be the best that I need to be and can be for my children?

These next few weeks are going to determine the rest of my life, our lives. But if yesterday was any indication of how it can be, it will be good.


via Daily Prompt: Puncture


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