why i’m so glad we don’t have a pool

I read a blog post last week, that had me silently sobbing. I was sitting in my bed, feeling my heart sinking further and further past my feet, as I read word after word. I cannot even begin to imagine what this family must be going through. The immense sadness, grief, guilt, anger, and and and.

We don’t have a pool at home. And I am so very glad for that. Not because I blame Jane for what happened to Natey, but simply because it could have happened to one of my children, so many damn times. I have realised that I take our little piece of heaven for granted; I let the twins potter around outside whilst I’m busy inside, and then Lee will ask me where they are, and I honestly won’t know. Alex was in my car over the weekend, after I had left the keys in the ignition, as Lee was going to pull my car in under the carport. All it takes is a turn of the key, and he could have been so seriously injured, or God help me, killed.

All it takes is split second. A minute. A quick look-away. When the twins were in hospital in November 2015, Alex fell out of the hospital cot onto his head, a good 1m drop. Both the nurse and I were at his cot, sorting out drips and bottles and and and. That’s how fast it happened. I am so grateful that no permanent damage was caused, but I felt so guilty for weeks after it happened. And my son didn’t die.

Natey turned 2 almost 5 months ago. Alex and Maddie will be 2 in just over 2 weeks. Was Natey’s death preventable? Yes, of course it was. Was it on purpose? Absolutely not. Is Jane the world’s worst mother for taking her eyes off of him for maybe 5 minutes? No. There is no maybe; it’s just no.

What happened to Natey was a cruel, awful, heartbreaking ACCIDENT. His beautiful smile is burned into my memory, and I didn’t even have the privilege of knowing this handsome little guy.

What Natey’s tragic passing has taught me is that I need to be more vigilant. I need to put down my phone, take my eyes off of the tv, and focus on my kids. Because when they’re not asleep in their beds, they could quite literally be up to anything. Attempting to catch the koi fish (there is a net over the pond), climbing up onto the veranda where they could easily fall off the 1m edge and injure themselves, investigating the electrical points throughout the house, opening the kitchen cupboards where the poisons are, and and and.

Jane, Andrew and your entire family; I am so sorry for what happened to Natey. But thank-you for sharing what happened Jane, because through what happened to your gorgeous little guy, I honestly believe that you have helped save countless other innocent little lives, mine included.

Strength, love, hope and thoughts to you all.

G x

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