a new beginning

Those who know me, know that I do not like change. I have my routine, and I stick to my routine. Yes, I am lazy and procrastinate something awful, but I stick to my basics, and that keeps me sane. Well most days anyway.

I made a huge decision last November; I decided to stretch my wings and see what else was out there, job-wise. I have never cried so much whilst resigning. I have never felt such immense self-doubt in myself after I had resigned. I had not felt fear like I did in those first few days after resigning, that I did back in November. My emotional state was so bad that I ended up going to see my psychiatrist a month before I was supposed to, for an emergency appointment to try and figure out if I had or hadn’t just screwed up my entire life. And I’m so glad that I went and saw her, that I asked for help. That in itself was a monstrous step for me.

Today I started my new job. It’s back in the industry that I love, in the industry that I’m qualified in. It’s daunting, and chaotic, and busy and frenetic and I am honestly so excited to see what I can achieve here. I must admit, I’m easing into the job as the factory only opens next week Monday, so it’s me and 2 other people here, literally! But it’s giving me time to go through policies and procedures, to try and familiarise myself with this new environment.

I’d be lying if I said that I woke up this morning ready to conquer the day. I was nervous and my tummy was really sore. I had a silent drive to work (apart from the gps telling me to turn right in 500m and then me almost missing that very obvious right turn) and when I arrived, there was no one else here. I was early, which was good, but when 8am arrived and there was still no one here, I started to panic. I wouldn’t have put it past myself to have mixed my dates up, and be the only chop reporting for work today! But, as luck would have it, two colleagues arrived, and welcomed me in.

I really do feel like I’m going to be ok, that I’m going to fit in here. I know that it’s early days, and I have no idea of the chaos and work-load that’s coming my way, but I am secretly so excited for it, that I can barely keep it in! I miss my old colleagues, I miss my old boss. But even he knew, in his own way, that it was time for me to move on, to be more.

So, I’m not going to say that 2017 is going to be my year, because I don’t know if it will be.

But I’m certainly going to give it everything that I’ve got.

G

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