my darkness

Things have been good recently. Not good financially, but good emotionally, mentally. I’ve been happy. I’ve been positive. I’ve been smiling. I’ve been ok.

Not today.

I felt it when I woke up this morning. I felt it as I popped my pill before leaving for work. I felt it as I sipped on my first cup of tea. I felt it sitting behind my desk. I felt it.

My darkness is back. I don’t know for how long; a day, a night, a week, a month. All I know is that it’s back. And it’s rattled me. My shoulders feel heavy, my eyes dull. All I want to do is curl up in my bed, close my eyes and forget about everything.

I’ve known for a while that I have a darkness in my life, but I’ve never addressed it until recently, when I honestly didn’t have a choice. The darkness had all but consumed me a few short months ago, and I don’t want to feel like that again. But it’s a constant battle, one that I feel I may have lost for today.

But.

The sun will rise tomorrow morning, and with it, a new day. A new day to take another step forward in pushing back my darkness. A new day to say, I am here.

I am still here.

G

This post was written in response to the Daily Prompt.

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7 thoughts on “my darkness

  1. Pingback: ‘Your experience? A billionth of my own’ | Ramisa the Authoress

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