benjamin

It has been so long, I can’t even remember the year. We were just kids when you emigrated with your family, and when Facebook first cropped up way back when, you were one of the first people that I searched for. Finally, in late 2007/early 2008 I found you, and we reconnected. Over the years there’s been the odd message here and there, but you’ve never been far from my thoughts. I even wanted to name my son Benjamin, which ironically enough is also a name from the husband’s side of the family, but he decided differently.

Whilst we have have never been “BEST FRIENDS”, we have always been close. We just ‘clicked’ in primary school. I don’t know what it was, kindred spirits or just 2 naughty little shits that never got caught getting up to the shenanigans that we got up to. But there is a bond between us that not time nor the ocean has ever changed, and for that I am so grateful.

I posted a very personal blog post last week, and whilst I appreciated all of the messages of support and love, your messages to me stood out. You pretty much gave me a virtual bitch slap through the interwebs. Thank-you. Not only did you tell me that you supported me and loved me, but you also pretty much told me to pull myself towards myself and get my shit together. In a very loving, yet stern way. And quite honestly, after reading your second message to me, it really did help me start to come out of my sadness.

Last week was very difficult for me; I spent most of it subdued and down, my brain adjusting to medication that I had never been on before, fighting off side-effects and my inner demons, all whilst trying to function at work and at home. I think the work bit I pulled off; home was touch and go. This week has so far been better; I don’t know if it’s a combination of the medication or you or my support system or what, but this week I’m ok.

As I have said in so many of my other posts, I live my life 1 day at a time. That could not be more pertinent right now, at this very point in my life. I cannot think about tomorrow, or next week. Right now my goal is to get through today in 1 piece, both mentally and physically. And tomorrow, that will be my goal as well. That will be my daily goal until I get to the point where I don’t worry about what each day will bring, and I start looking forward to planning ahead, to what the future has to offer to and for me.

So my friend; my no-nonsense talking, hard-arsed, virtual-bitch-slapping friend of friends, thank-you. Thank-you for being there for me in 1 of my darkest hours. Thank-you for taking the time to write the message that you did.

I don’t think you’ll ever know just what you did for me.

G

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