I’ve been a mom to 3 kidlets for almost 13 months now. THIRTEEN MONTHS. 2 of those kidlets are the same age. Yeah, it’s been fun.
I’ve learnt quite a bit in the past few months, and I’d like to share those ‘learnings’ with you…
- Cars do indeed go on fumes. They don’t go for long, but they do go.
- If a poop has the slightest chance of escaping the nappy, it will. All over you.
- Dog food doesn’t hurt. It’s actually a great laxative. See point 2.
- Running into the shops for bread and milk wearing your old gym pants, a t-shirt covered in puke (I think that’s what it was) with greasy hair means that every cool person from high school will be there. At the same shop. At the same time.
- Sleeping in until 05h30 feels like a vacation.
- There is no chance of peeing in solitude. Even the 6 year old will find you.
- Showers consist of the 6 year old sitting on the toilet watching you whilst singing, all whilst you stick your head out every few minutes because you’re convinced that the 1 twin is killing the other twin and you’re listening out for the blood curdling screams.
- You regularly talk to yourself, so that you can have at least 1 adult conversation a day.
- You discover that, whilst you are indeed a sleep-deprived mombie, you are somehow able to (semi)function on 2 hours sleep. For 3 days in a row.
- Your love life consists of a kiss (which is more of a clashing of lips) before dissolving into your bed. See point 11.
- You very quickly learn that babies have an insanely accurate telepathic ability, which alerts them to when you do indeed plan on dissolving into your bed.
- You discover that certain antibiotics do indeed taste terrible. Especially when you’re spitting out the vomited version.
- The 6 year old WILL decide to tell you about their day (even though you did ask in the car on the way home) right at the very moment that both babies decide to quieten down, and you decide to attempt to watch MasterChef Australia. See point 11.
- You become very grateful for PVR. See point 13.
- Your sanity becomes highly questionable, and you’re the one doing the questioning.
- Gratefulness for those wee early hours is a new thing, because that is sometimes the only alone time there is. For about 3.8 seconds. Then it’s playtime. At 5am.
- Toasted sarmies become a very regular, VERY delicious meal. Mostly for supper.
- Date night is a dream come true, for the sole purpose of being able to sleep for 1.5 hours at the cinema, uninterrupted.
- Bath time becomes a firm favourite, as with all 3 kids in the bath splashing up a storm (sigh), you can finally catch up on the day. Until one kidlet screams blue murder. Which normally occurs within the first 3mins.
- As you reflect back on the crazy, exhausting, emotionally draining, financially draining, exhilarating, frustrating, tearful, laughter inducing time, you very quickly realise that you wouldn’t trade a single second.
- Well maybe that second 2 nights ago, when I got kicked in the boob during a nappy change. Again. I think I’d change that.