Part 3? What happened to part 2? Yet another miracle of pregnancy right here people…
14. Preggie brain. Don’t let anyone fool you, or make you feel like a fool. It’s real people. You wanna know just how real? Last Monday I got to work, plugged in my laptop, and proceeded to throw a mini tantrum when I discovered that I was the only person that didn’t have network access. No emails, no internet, nothing. I phoned IT and the first questions they asked? Is your network cable plugged into your laptop? I swear the guy could feel me blushing through the phone’s handset, and I told him that this phone call never happened, and put the phone down.
15. Preggie brain x 4. Related to point 14; you know how women are advised to sleep on their left hand side (well, attempt to sleep is a more accurate statement; see point 12 in my previous post) because not only is it better for your circulation, it also assists in easing any heartburn that you may have. Well I discovered 2 weeks ago, that for the past 4 highly uncomfortable months (I’m not a great sleeper to begin with) that I’ve been sleeping on my wrong left. Yes, you read that right. I am right handed. Have been my whole life. My writing looks like something a 3 year old’s would look like if I write with my left hand, yet I was forcing myself to sleep on my right hand side. I had convinced my brain, or rather my brain had convinced me that my right was my left. I am now sleeping on my right left. My left left? Yeah, something like that.
16. Nausea. In my first pregnancy, I was very lucky and I know it. I felt mildly nauseous in my first trimester, but nothing hectic. I threw up once at work, and almost another time, but pretty much summed up my morning sickness. First off, a twin pregnancy is not like a singleton pregnancy, not at all. From the get-go you feel different, and that was before we found out that it was twins. The first few weeks weren’t too bad, but I had very strong waves of nausea that would just hit me, and I’d sit with my head in the toilet bowl, dry heaving for about 5 minutes. When I felt it safe to get up, I’d throw up. Delightful. The thing with a twin pregnancy, is that the preggie hormone is so much stronger than with a singleton, that it is so different. The last 3 weeks of my first trimester I practically lived in the bathroom (see point 11 in my previous post), and I’m shocked that the enamel on my teeth hasn’t been permanently damaged from the amount of vomiting I did. I know, what a beautiful picture. It isn’t, I promise.
17. Even if you’ve been pregnant before, treat this as your first time pregnancy. I have a beautiful, gorgeous, amazing 5 year old little girl, and I also had a relatively ‘easy’ pregnancy with her. Apart from a couple of my medical issues, she was born strong and healthy, and we went home 36 hours after she was born (I had a c-section btw). If you have been pregnant before, yes, it will help you to some extent, but a twin pregnancy is SO different from a singleton! I was showing at about 6 weeks, but because I was still carrying some of my previous pregnancy’s weight on my tummy, I just looked really fat. I was also so exhausted that I seriously thought I was going to lose my job, as I caught myself nodding off more than once at my desk. And then of course the nausea. See point 16 above.
18. Pain. Well, where to start. My womb, as it did in my first pregnancy, has decided that it REALLY likes the left hand side of my body. So much so that it has tilted, resulting in a pain that is similar to a pinched nerve, but about 5 x more intense. I cannot stand on my left leg getting out of the bath as my leg collapses underneath me, and I cannot lift my left leg high enough to get a pillow in between my knees when I climb into bed. Walking every now and then proves problematic and my leg almost gives out, but so far so good. The positive is that the pain disappears as soon as I’m not pregnant anymore… 3 months people, 3 months. In my first pregnancy this happened at about 6.5 months in; this time it happened at 3 months. Yay. Having my stomach cut open is less painful, I promise. In fact, I am looking forward to it.
19. Pain. Ligament pain. I have ended up in my gynae’s rooms for an ’emergency’ visit twice now due to pains that had me absolutely freaked out. I have never experienced labour but holy hell OW. The doc then advised me (almost 6 months into my twin pregnancy – thanks doc for the ‘early warning’) that a twin pregnancy is so very different, and that I must treat it as a first time pregnancy. Everything is expanding at double the speed (no, really?!) and I will feel pain, especially ligament pain. He then prescribed me some lovely anti-inflammatories that I get to put up my bum (they work faster that way) and I must admit that they have helped. But as I’m a sucker for punishment, of the 20 that I got from the chemist, I have only used 2. I dunno; shoving something up my bum doesn’t really do it for me you know?
20. Cankles. The latest fashion accessory; your ankles merge with your calves and your toes become mini pork sausages. Well in my case medium sized pork sausages. I can’t wear my favourite sandals anymore, as not only are my feet aching within a few hours of wearing them, I look like Kim K (remember THAT picture) and NO. Just no.
21. How bumpy is your bump? My son is positioned above his sister, and every day without fail, he positions himself in such a manner that it looks like I belong on the set of Aliens. My bump changes shape to such an extent that the left hand side is almost flat, and the right hand side has this massive pointed mountain thing protruding. I assume it’s his ass, and if it is, he’s already received his first pat on the bum. If it’s not his bum, then I’ve probably knocked a few brain cells loose. Oops. My daughter also likes to kick me DOWN THERE, so much so that I’m expecting to look down there, or rather feel down there and grab a foot or a hand one of these days. It is so intense sometimes that I just stop what I’m doing as the pressure is just so strong and overwhelming. Like OMG have I just wet my pants strong.
22. Gas. Flatulence. Farts. Some days I feel like I could electrify my house with the amount of gas I release. See point 1 in my previous post as it all ties up. The even scarier gas related issue is when you’re not 100% that it is in fact a fart. When I pull one of those really funny faces, that’s one of THOSE times.
The point of these “Miracle of Pregnancy” posts has not been to scare women off from falling pregnant and having children; my daughter is my life and I cannot imagine my life without her in it. For some women pregnancy is an absolute breeze; they ‘glow’ (I don’t, unless I’m sweating from climbing those 16 stairs; see point 10 in my previous post), they have no pain and it’s just a wonderful experience. I am just one of those women who don’t enjoy being pregnant. I’m busy typing this, trying to swallow down the acid reflux that is burning my throat, as I forgot my antacids at home. Again. My back is aching, as the pinched nerve that I’ve had for a few years now, is exacerbated when pregnant, and even sitting down in uncomfortable. My eyes can’t decide what they want to focus on, and even though I’m due for an eye test, it is recommended that you DON’T have an eye test whilst pregnant, as pregnancy does and can alter one’s eyesight. I haven’t worn my wedding band in 3 months due to the swelling in my fingers, but my hair is growing at a rate of knots (haha, hair-knots… oh never mind) which as wonderful as that is, has resulted in thousands of little hairs deciding to sprout up, making me look like Simba the lion’s long lost sister.
Pregnancy is exciting and nerve wracking and my heart skips a beat every time I see my babies on the scanner thingie-ma-bobby. But seriously, if I could press a button and have a baby in my arms… I think you know what I’d choose 😉