we were at the important part

On Saturday it was my dear friend Natalie’s wedding, to her long time boyfriend Warren. They held their ceremony and reception up in the Drakensberg Mountains, at Cathedral Peak Hotel and Didima Camp respectively. It was phenomenal. Beautiful. Awe-inspiring. And heartbreaking. But more on that later.

Natalie looked beyond beautiful; I have never seen her look more amazing. She took my breath away, and I’m a straight, married woman!

The bride and her proud dad
The bride and her proud dad
The ceremony was lovely; a bit too religious for my liking, but it was lovely. My husband played games on his phone the entire time. Natalie and Warren have been together for 7 years, and have done so much together. They’ve travelled South America together, South Africa together, and are currently living in the UK together. They came out to South Africa, to their home town to get married in front of their family and friends. This was a small wedding, 50 guests in total I think, or something like that, and most of the guests were family. Only a handful or so were friends. I felt honoured and privileged to have received an invite to such a special occasion. Natalie and Warren also paid for their own wedding, and did EVERYTHING themselves. I wish I had taken pictures of the layout and decor, because it looked as if a professional wedding planner had gone in and done it all. But it was all Natalie and Warren. The reason that I didn’t take any pictures after the wedding, was because I was so angry and hurt and upset, that I basically lost interest. But more on that later.

Exchanging vows and rings
Exchanging vows and rings
It was so cute; both Natalie and Warren made the smallest of oopsies with their vows; when the priest said “until death us do part” they both repeated “until death do us part”. Natalie at least didn’t skip a beat, but poor Warren made a proper oopsie but it was still perfect 🙂
Candle lighting
Candle lighting

I suppose I’d better get to that ‘but more on that later’ part.

My husband is not the most social person. After 10 and a bit years together, I’m used to it. So when I received Natalie and Warren’s wedding invitation, I RSVP’d just for myself, as I knew that he wouldn’t want to go. When I mentioned to him that I had RSVP’d just for myself, he was happy with it. A few days later, he came to me and said that he knows that he has to make more of an effort and to try harder, so he’ll come to the wedding with me. I was shocked but over the moon. I detest going to functions without him, especially when most of the people have their significant other with them. I want to show him off; he’s my husband. Anyway, after a frantic WhatsApp to Natalie, she confirmed that she had informed the venue that Lee would be joining me for the reception. Now answer me this; when one RSVP’s for something, especially a wedding, what is one RSVP’ing for? I’d say for catering purposes? Not for the actual ceremony, as only your presence is required at the ceremony. You RSVP for the food. At my friend Chèney’s wedding in December 2012, he attended the ceremony with me, left just before the reception and then fetched me at about 21h00 as he didn’t want to stay, and I didn’t want to go. At least Chèney’s wedding was relatively close to home; just to get to Natalie and Warren’s wedding was about 250km!

The day before the wedding, he told me that on our way back home, he wanted to stop in at a friend’s house to drop off his Christmas present and say hi. I said fine, as I didn’t think that it would affect the wedding plans all that much. Well so much for a quick visit. We ended up being at there for just over an hour, an hour that we could have still been at the wedding reception, eating and enjoying ourselves. Oh that’s right, I haven’t told you yet.

We left just after the starters and speeches were over.

I was mortified. So many people asked why we were leaving so early, and I had to fight with every fibre of my being not to burst into tears. We had had a fight before the reception started, as I had told him that we had travelled all of this way for the wedding, not to see his friend. He then threw the following back in my face:

1. We were at the wedding, that was the important part, and
2. If it wasn’t for him, I wouldn’t have even been at the wedding

I am extremely grateful that he worked a miracle and managed to come up with the money for the trip, both the petrol money and the toll fees, but Natalie and Warren live in the UK; they are leaving to go back mid February, and then who knows when I will next see them, especially Natalie again. When you RSVP to a wedding, you are saying that you will be at the reception, that is what the RSVP is for! But no; “We were at the important part. Aren’t you happy?”

No, I’m not happy. I’m heartbroken. I’m embarrassed. I’m mortified. No wonder I don’t actually get invited to anything. I had originally RSVP’d just for myself and I should have left it that way.

If Saturday was him trying harder, don’t.

I preferred it when you didn’t try at all.



4 Replies to “we were at the important part”

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