the bff dilemma

Yesterday’s Daily Prompt got me thinking; BFF’s. This can be a tricky topic, because even if you believe a person to be your BFF, they might not see you as their BFF.

I have 3 BFF’s. 2 of them reciprocate, and the 3rd treats me as a phenomenally good friend. But I know deep down that I’m not her BFF. And that’s ok 🙂

BFF #1
V – We met on the 14th of March 2007; the first day of my new job. This fantastically strong and amazing woman has shown me what true strength lies within us. She does not beat around the bush; she says it like it is, every, single time. She is the first one to come up with solutions to any challenge, and she does not view a door closing as the end. It simply means that a window has opened elsewhere, and we just have to keep looking for it. We have laughed together, cried together, plotted against one another, not spoken to each other for 2-3 months due to a stupid fight and we are there for each other, always. We have had many a very late night WhatsApp chat, BBM chat; she’s my tv series buddy (pssst, I need more episodes of The Originals and The Vampire Diaries, thanks 😉 ) my pizza and wine buddy, my jolling buddy and my sister.

Thank-you for showing me that independence isn’t such a scary thing after all xx

BFF #2
J – We became best friends in 1997, the day that we left for a school trip. I was 11 and she was almost 12, and even though we’d been in the same school for a while, we’d never really noticed each other. That day the universe decided to introduce us, and that was that! We were inseparable; we were typical pre-teen girls; fighting about shaving our legs (I even held her razor hostage after a fight!!), fighting about boys, going to disco’s, who looked the cutest, whose house were we sleeping at on the weekend, which movie was better, Titanic or Titanic and just silly little girl stuff! And boy oh boy did we have some crazy fights! I have never made friends very easily, so when we had a fight, J would go off and make friends with other girls, leaving me alone, which hurt something awful! Ah, to be young 😉 When high school came around, I moved which was heartbreaking, as J was my best friend; I didn’t know what I was going to do. As it was, I only really made friends halfway through high school, which made for a very lonely 2.5 years (enter BFF #3 – more on that later). J and I stayed in touch via letters – remember letters?! I remember checking our postbox almost everyday, waiting for a white envelope with bright funky writing on it, as it meant that my bestie had written me! Over the years we didn’t write each other so often, and I really wish that we had. We had the odd phone call, but we did go through a patch of a year or so where we had no contact at all. That was one of the loneliest periods of my life. I managed to fly to Cape Town for her 21st in 2006, and she flew up to Durban for my 21st in 2007, which was so special for both of us.

My friendship with J has shown me that even though we weren’t with each other almost 24/7 like when we were in primary school, our friendship transcends through boundaries and limits; I’m the person that she messages at whatever hour that she needs me, and she’s one of the first people that I share any news with. It has been difficult, and I especially have had to work at our friendship, purely because I am a lazy cow, and J actually called me out on that a few years ago, and told me outright; if she is going to continue to do all of the communicating etc, then she’s ending our friendship. It must be a 2 way street. I was so petrified of losing her as a friend, I slapped myself into action, and even if I just send her a message once a week or once a month, I try. I never want to NOT have J in my life; she is my twin sister that I never had.

Thank-you for teaching me the value of friendship, and for showing me that true strength lies within all of us. And that picking up the pieces, and starting all over again is not the end of the world. It’s the start of something new and exciting xx

BFF #3
N – We because friends halfway through Grade 10 (2001) in high school; we had been in the same school since Grade 8, but for some reason we only clicked in Grade 10. Most likely because I was a total loner who was utterly miserable for the first 2.5 years in high school! N and I were the ultimate partying buddies; late nights, far too much alcohol, loads of laughter and pregnancy tests (don’t ask) and to this day we are still friends. My friendship with N is similar to that of J’s in that we can go weeks, months and even years (!?) without speaking, but when we do it’s like we saw each other the day before! With N I am always laughing, always being rude (in a naughty way 😉 ) and just enjoying life! The reason that I call N my BFF and she doesn’t call me hers, I think is down to the fact that she has so many BFF’s, she doesn’t classify us as BFF’s. She just has loads and loads and loads of friends. It’s hard not to be N’s friend; she’s genuine, heartfelt, funny, beautiful and just an amazing person.

Thank-you for showing me that just because we live in different countries, and hardly see each other anymore, it’s ok to pick up right where we left off xx

So let me calculate this:

V – almost 7 years of friendship
J – almost 17 years of friendship
N – almost 13 years of friendship

That totals almost 37 years of friendship! The fact that I’m only 27, and I have these 3 amazing women in my life; I think I’m good hey 😉


PS: for all of those other wonderful women in my life; I know who you are and I love and appreciate every single one of you! xx



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