My nephew is 3 weeks old today. It’s been a crazy 3 weeks; ups and downs, tears and happiness, and a huge learning curve for me.
On Monday night I was helping my sister out by changing my nephew, and as he was 5 weeks premature, he is tiny. I’ve never held or changed a person so small before. Anyway, I had him on my mom’s bed and had almost got him fully unchanged, when my daughter came running into my mom’s room and jumped on her bed. This is not normally a problem; my mom’s bed, being a king size bed, is the 1 bed that she jumps on as long as there is an adult around. Well, without even thinking I snapped at her “M-L don’t do that! You’ll hurt J!” And my heart crumbled when I saw the confusion in her eyes, and the ‘what did I do wrong’ look on her face. I couldn’t go to her as I was dealing with J, so I whispered to my mom “Please go to her and reassure her, give her a hug and explain to her why she can’t jump on the bed” which my mom did. I didn’t mean to snap; I was merely worried about J getting hurt and I didn’t want that, but in my worry for my nephew, I emotionally hurt my own daughter.
Obviously J has been getting loads of attention from EVERYONE; he is the newest member of our family, and he’s so tiny and has already been in hospital once since he was born, and this is taking some adjusting to do, for all of us but also for my princess. She has to share her Nana now, my mom, and as she’s had her to herself for the first 4 years of her life, this is really big for such a small little girl.
Last night, she saw that J was lying down in her camp cot in the lounge, and proceeded to ask why J was in her camp cot? I was honestly very proud of how I handled her question, and it went a little something like this :
M-L: “Why is cousin J in my camp cot? It’s mine.”
Me: “Yes my angel, it is your camp cot, but cousin J is very tired and he’s so small, so would it be alright if he just borrowed it for a little bit? It is still your camp cot my princess.”
M-L: “Ok, he can use it. He needs it ’cause I’m a big girl now.”
And then she proceeded to give us this cute-as-a-button, cheeky smile and wink and my heart melted. I then gave her the biggest hug and kiss and thanked her for being such an amazing little girl, and told her that I loved her so very much, and that she was my extra special girl, mommy’s no1 princess.
These last few days have been a bit of a wake up call for me, as I do want another child, but I have to remember that it mustn’t be at the expense of my daughter’s security and happiness.
I love YOU M-L; you are my no1 girl. You are my princess.
I love YOU.