So yesterday my daughter ended up in hospital. Again. She’s had her fair share of hospital stays in her almost 4 years of life; this marks her second hospital stay this year. And the really great thing about this hospital stay? No one can tell me what’s wrong with her. Her blood tests are clear, her urine test had a few weird things on it but nothing to be overly concerned about, and her CT scan has come back normal. Why then, is my child still suffering with daily headaches, and has been for the last 4 months? Both my GP and paediatrician have told me that a child of her age will not lie for this amount of time, and be so consistent each and every time. Everyday my daughter wakes up complaining of a headache in the middle of her head, and that she doesn’t feel well. I hate hearing those words, because I don’t know how to make her better.
We’ve been back and forth from our GP, and we have been thinking of sending her to either the ENT or paediatrician, but decided on the paediatrician as he can order the same tests as the ENT, plus additional ones. I have even taken her for an eye test, and the optometrist stated that her eyes were perfect for a child of her age (thank goodness).
So where does this leave me? I don’t know what is wrong with my child, and it is eating away at me. I can’t fix my child; I can’t take her pain away. A parents main ‘job’ is to take care of their children, to protect them, to keep them safe. I feel like a total failure at this point in time. I was so relieved that her CT scan came back clear, however at the same time disappointed, because at least if something had shown up on the scan, we’d at least have some answers. But no, nothing. No answers. And so we sit in the dark.
And I hate the dark.
I’m so scared of the dark.