Pregnancy and my body do not agree. Well, 3.5 years ago they didn’t agree. And I am now sadly living with their disagreement. As it turns out, my skin is not elastic. At all. Like, non-existent elasticity. I woke up when I was about 5.5 months pregnant so this array of bright red, angry stretch marks reaching from underneath my swollen belly, to almost right underneath my breasts. Heartbroken I was, to say the very least. As the years have progressed, these stretch marks have gone from an angry red, to a beige, white sort of colour, but they’re big and ugly, and I’m very self-conscious of them. And seriously, if I receive 1 more message about how they’re my ‘tiger stripes’ I’m going to scream. Anyway, when I’ve worn a bathing costume, it’s been a simple 1 piece, as that’s all I own in the 1 piece department, and my gorgeous, and I mean GORGEOUS bikini gathers dust.
So on Easter Monday, I went off to the beach with my daughter, brother and his girlfriend. I decided to wear my bikini. I tried, but just could not muster up the courage to take off my vest and shorts, resulting in a rather hilarious vest and short tan. The short tan I don’t mind, as I wasn’t planning on taking off my shorts anyway, but the vest tan is, well, a real facepalm effect. The weekend after our beach trip, we decided to hit the beach again on the Sunday. I once again wore my bikini with my vest and shorts. However, it went a little differently on the beach that time around.
About 20 or so minutes after we arrived, plucking up what little courage I had, I removed my vest. Thank goodness I had my sunglasses, as I was absolutely hiding behind them! I saw people looking, and I was embarrassed, but a small part of me, a very, VERY small part of me, was giving myself a pat on the back for doing what I did. I took a stroll down the beach with my daughter, my high rise shorts luckily hiding a lot of the marks, but there was still a fair amount on show. But my daughter was having such a blast, and was laughing and smiling and at that specific point in time, that was all I cared about.
Pregnancy changed my body, and I wear clothes to hide how it changed my body. I detest what pregnancy did to my body, but, I look at my daughter, how she’s learning and growing and how she is the absolute light of my life, and I think to myself; she was all worth it.
Remember to fart fairies and burp unicorns.