i passed!

As most of you know, I have been studying towards a Diploma in Packaging Technology. Well you might not have known the Packaging Technology part, but definitely the diploma part! Well today I can officially say that I PASSED THE COURSE! I don’t yet have my diploma, as the presentation ceremony takes place next year, but I received my year end mark today and it is 100% official; I passed! Yeah yeah I failed test 2, but it didn’t count anyway as of the 5 tests, only your top 4 results are taken ;) But I can now ‘officially’ call myself a Packaging Technologist, which is actually flipping scary!

It has been a difficult course; I didn’t get into it as much as I should have, but seeing as I only attended 1 lecture in the second semester due to my car issues, I’m pretty darn chuffed :)

G

I passed!

I passed!

what i miss the most

I’m a runner. I’m a sort of runner. I’m a runner-walker. Well, I was.

Then I got pregnant. With twins.

Now I’m not a runner. Not even sort of a runner. I can barely walk let alone run. So I’m not.

Granted, in my ‘running days’ I was slower than a herd of tortoises trudging through peanut butter, but I loved it. I loved the release that running gave me. I loved my sore calves, my tight thighs, and my heart pounding in my ears. I loved the sweat on my brow, and the feeling of peace when alone.

That is honestly what I miss the most right now. I don’t miss coffee; if I feel like a cup I have a cup. I don’t miss alcohol, but I’m not a big drinker anyway. I don’t miss partying as I stopped my partying ways years ago. I miss running.

Yes, I’ll get back into it and believe me, I will! But with all of the stress that I’ve been under (finances, car etc) I would just absolutely love to go out for a run. At the moment I can barely walk 10m without getting out of breath, so even a 1km run is a no-no.

It seems what I miss the most, is also keeping me sane these days.

Because the thought of my takkies hitting the tarmac again?

*shivers & goosebumps*

G

i feel happy today

I can’t quite put my finger on it.

I feel happy today.

I’m smiling at, well nothing.

I willingly took a selfie. No I took 2 selfies!

I just feel happy today.

The stresses of the past 3 months have almost left my body.

I am feeling comfortable in my pregnancy.

I just feel happy.

so what is YOUR blog actually about?

When I started this blog in June 2011, I had decided that it was going to be about me, with some poetry thrown in, thus the original name of “wannabepoet”. 4 years later, I think I’ve written 2 poems (I think) and this blog, whilst still about me, has become mostly about my daughter, and my husband, and my animals, and our lives and just LIFE in general. So yes, still about me, but in a more broader scope of me.

In recent months, or maybe in the last 18 months or so, actually even LONGER than that, my blog has become quite focussed on my daughter. Earlier this year I decided that whilst I was going to to keep the web address of my blog the same (and that was mainly because I was too lazy to go and update all of the places that I had my blog listed – oops) my blog needed a name change, thus it became “the hilarious pessimist”. I really like this name, and it pretty much sums me up. I prefer to think of myself as a realist who has her head in the clouds 90% of the time, but “the hilarious realist” didn’t have the same ring to it!

I attended a digital media conference 2 Tuesday’s ago, and I got chatting to a VERY interesting young man; Siya Khumalo. He has written some VERY influential pieces on his blog but he asked me a rather interesting, if not trivial (to some) question; what is your blog about? I didn’t really know how to answer it, so I said life. My life. He then went and read a few of my posts, and told me that he really liked what I wrote, as it was real life. My real life. I was actually quite chuffed (to the non-South Africa; happy, elated etc) for someone like Siya to say that to me, as I could only dream of having half of the writing talent that he does. I mean his one post┬áhas gotten over half a million views, or somewhere in that region. In fact, I think it must be more by now. So to have this really amazing fellow blogger tell me that he liked my blog with no real theme, was pretty darn cool to me :)

In the past year or so I have found myself focussing more on quality vs quantity of my posts. Whilst I used to try and blog every day, sometimes more than once a day, nowadays, days and even a couple of weeks can go by in between my posts, and I’m actually ok with that. I still have my fellow awesome bloggers that faithfully return to my blog to either like or comment and that means the absolute world to me, and even though I don’t blog every day, I still visit my blog daily, and have a catch up reading session on what my fellow fantastic bloggers have written.

And so you see, I have once again gone off topic, because now I’m discussing how often I blog, yet the name of this post is… Yup. Story of my life!

So fellow bloggers; what is your blog about? And is what it’s about now, what you had originally intended it to be about? Or is your blog just your place that you can go to, escape to when the world shows you the middle finger?

G

the miracle of pregnancy part 3

Part 3? What happened to part 2? Yet another miracle of pregnancy right here people…

14. Preggie brain. Don’t let anyone fool you, or make you feel like a fool. It’s real people. You wanna know just how real? Last Monday I got to work, plugged in my laptop, and proceeded to throw a mini tantrum when I discovered that I was the only person that didn’t have network access. No emails, no internet, nothing. I phoned IT and the first questions they asked? Is your network cable plugged into your laptop? I swear the guy could feel me blushing through the phone’s handset, and I told him that this phone call never happened, and put the phone down.

15. Preggie brain x 4. Related to point 14; you know how women are advised to sleep on their left hand side (well, attempt to sleep is a more accurate statement; see point 12 in my previous post) because not only is it better for your circulation, it also assists in easing any heartburn that you may have. Well I discovered 2 weeks ago, that for the past 4 highly uncomfortable months (I’m not a great sleeper to begin with) that I’ve been sleeping on my wrong left. Yes, you read that right. I am right handed. Have been my whole life. My writing looks like something a 3 year old’s would look like if I write with my left hand, yet I was forcing myself to sleep on my right hand side. I had convinced my brain, or rather my brain had convinced me that my right was my left. I am now sleeping on my right left. My left left? Yeah, something like that.

16. Nausea. In my first pregnancy, I was very lucky and I know it. I felt mildly nauseous in my first trimester, but nothing hectic. I threw up once at work, and almost another time, but pretty much summed up my morning sickness. First off, a twin pregnancy is not like a singleton pregnancy, not at all. From the get-go you feel different, and that was before we found out that it was twins. The first few weeks weren’t too bad, but I had very strong waves of nausea that would just hit me, and I’d sit with my head in the toilet bowl, dry heaving for about 5 minutes. When I felt it safe to get up, I’d throw up. Delightful. The thing with a twin pregnancy, is that the preggie hormone is so much stronger than with a singleton, that it is so different. The last 3 weeks of my first trimester I practically lived in the bathroom (see point 11 in my previous post), and I’m shocked that the enamel on my teeth hasn’t been permanently damaged from the amount of vomiting I did. I know, what a beautiful picture. It isn’t, I promise.

17. Even if you’ve been pregnant before, treat this as your first time pregnancy. I have a beautiful, gorgeous, amazing 5 year old little girl, and I also had a relatively ‘easy’ pregnancy with her. Apart from a couple of my medical issues, she was born strong and healthy, and we went home 36 hours after she was born (I had a c-section btw). If you have been pregnant before, yes, it will help you to some extent, but a twin pregnancy is SO different from a singleton! I was showing at about 6 weeks, but because I was still carrying some of my previous pregnancy’s weight on my tummy, I just looked really fat. I was also so exhausted that I seriously thought I was going to lose my job, as I caught myself nodding off more than once at my desk. And then of course the nausea. See point 16 above.

18. Pain. Well, where to start. My womb, as it did in my first pregnancy, has decided that it REALLY likes the left hand side of my body. So much so that it has tilted, resulting in a pain that is similar to a pinched nerve, but about 5 x more intense. I cannot stand on my left leg getting out of the bath as my leg collapses underneath me, and I cannot lift my left leg high enough to get a pillow in between my knees when I climb into bed. Walking every now and then proves problematic and my leg almost gives out, but so far so good. The positive is that the pain disappears as soon as I’m not pregnant anymore… 3 months people, 3 months. In my first pregnancy this happened at about 6.5 months in; this time it happened at 3 months. Yay. Having my stomach cut open is less painful, I promise. In fact, I am looking forward to it.

19. Pain. Ligament pain. I have ended up in my gynae’s rooms for an ‘emergency’ visit twice now due to pains that had me absolutely freaked out. I have never experienced labour but holy hell OW. ┬áThe doc then advised me (almost 6 months into my twin pregnancy – thanks doc for the ‘early warning’) that a twin pregnancy is so very different, and that I must treat it as a first time pregnancy. Everything is expanding at double the speed (no, really?!) and I will feel pain, especially ligament pain. He then prescribed me some lovely anti-inflammatories that I get to put up my bum (they work faster that way) and I must admit that they have helped. But as I’m a sucker for punishment, of the 20 that I got from the chemist, I have only used 2. I dunno; shoving something up my bum doesn’t really do it for me you know?

20. Cankles. The latest fashion accessory; your ankles merge with your calves and your toes become mini pork sausages. Well in my case medium sized pork sausages. I can’t wear my favourite sandals anymore, as not only are my feet aching within a few hours of wearing them, I look like Kim K (remember THAT picture) and NO. Just no.

21. How bumpy is your bump? My son is positioned above his sister, and every day without fail, he positions himself in such a manner that it looks like I belong on the set of Aliens. My bump changes shape to such an extent that the left hand side is almost flat, and the right hand side has this massive pointed mountain thing protruding. I assume it’s his ass, and if it is, he’s already received his first pat on the bum. If it’s not his bum, then I’ve probably knocked a few brain cells loose. Oops. My daughter also likes to kick me DOWN THERE, so much so that I’m expecting to look down there, or rather feel down there and grab a foot or a hand one of these days. It is so intense sometimes that I just stop what I’m doing as the pressure is just so strong and overwhelming. Like OMG have I just wet my pants strong.

22. Gas. Flatulence. Farts. Some days I feel like I could electrify my house with the amount of gas I release. See point 1 in my previous post as it all ties up. The even scarier gas related issue is when you’re not 100% that it is in fact a fart. When I pull one of those really funny faces, that’s one of THOSE times.

The point of these “Miracle of Pregnancy” posts has not been to scare women off from falling pregnant and having children; my daughter is my life and I cannot imagine my life without her in it. For some women pregnancy is an absolute breeze; they ‘glow’ (I don’t, unless I’m sweating from climbing those 16 stairs; see point 10 in my previous post), they have no pain and it’s just a wonderful experience. I am just one of those women who don’t enjoy being pregnant. I’m busy typing this, trying to swallow down the acid reflux that is burning my throat, as I forgot my antacids at home. Again. My back is aching, as the pinched nerve that I’ve had for a few years now, is exacerbated when pregnant, and even sitting down in uncomfortable. My eyes can’t decide what they want to focus on, and even though I’m due for an eye test, it is recommended that you DON’T have an eye test whilst pregnant, as pregnancy does and can alter one’s eyesight. I haven’t worn my wedding band in 3 months due to the swelling in my fingers, but my hair is growing at a rate of knots (haha, hair-knots… oh never mind) which as wonderful as that is, has resulted in thousands of little hairs deciding to sprout up, making me look like Simba the lion’s long lost sister.

Pregnancy is exciting and nerve wracking and my heart skips a beat every time I see my babies on the scanner thingie-ma-bobby. But seriously, if I could press a button and have a baby in my arms… I think you know what I’d choose ;)

G

the miracle of pregnancy

Pre-warning; this is a to-the-point, sometimes not-pretty, mostly humorous and 100% honest post about MY current pregnancy. If you don’t think you can handle this, please exit this post immediately.

Thank-you

Pregnancy. The miracle of life. It is also the miracle of a few other things, things that I’m going to share with you right now.

1. Constipation. Yup. Poo. Or rather, the lack of it. All of your insides are so squished and pushed into every available space that they more often than not forget to function properly, thus resulting in a lot of red faces being pulled, and a (sometimes) silent sigh of relief when it finally passes. I mean that literally.

2. Heartburn. Acid Reflux. Indigestion. Basically your chest burning from the inside. And no, water does absolutely nothing for it, not even dilute the acid even a little bit. Antacids become your sweet of choice, and you seriously consider giving up all forms of food if it would help. But sometimes the acid pays you a visit anyway, cause it can. And there’s nothing you can do about it. Standing does help a bit because the little bit of space that your stomach (not tummy, stomach) has inside of your chest/tummy cavity increases just a little bit, but at 6 months pregnant with twins, currently 89kg (that’s 196lb) standing for more than 5mins at a time becomes almost redonkulous.

3. Back to point number 1 – slowly losing your independence when visiting the ‘ladies’ room. I am currently at the stage in this pregnancy where bending in half is impossible. Ain’t gonna happen. And when I do try and pick something up by bending myself thus squishing 2 babies, I know all about it. But you’d think that wouldn’t matter in the bathroom. IT DOES. I am almost at the horribly embarrassing point of having to ask my husband for help DOWN THERE. In all honesty I haven’t seen DOWN THERE in almost 2 months, but after I’ve been to the ‘ladies’ room, one must neaten up. Yeah no I can’t really reach, either the front or the back. It’s like this spastic, gymnastic-wannabe routine that I have to go through, to wipe my ass. If it wasn’t so uncomfortable, I’d laugh. Maybe. No.

4. Needing help to get off of the couch. Every. Single. Time. Once I’m on the edge of the couch, I can generally stand up, sometimes. But if someone is not there to assist me (read pull me up) I am forced to do this ass-shuffle that includes my back sliding down the couch, until I am totally screwed, that I just lie there until someone happens to walk by and say hey! You need help! Well, um, yes. It appears that I do need help. Not to punch you in the face.

5. The constant questions. Mostly from strangers. “Oh wow, what a bump! When are you due? Must be anyday now!” No random lady from the street that has just placed her hand on MY tummy; not anyday now. 3 months is my anyday now. “3 months?! You must be joking! You’re HUGE!!” Yes even randomer lady, I am huge. THERE’S 2 BABIES IN THERE! Then you smile and walk away, not because you’re afraid of being arrested for giving that intrusive woman a beating, but because you don’t want your blood pressure to go any higher than it is, thus jeopardising your unborn babies. But you still daydream about giving her the ass-whopping of her life, and enjoying every-single-second of it.

6. Maternity clothes. Every woman’s dream; shopping for clothes that are anywhere from 1-6 sizes bigger than your normal size. Because every woman wants expanding hips and a bigger waist. The boobs are ok, except when they’re leaking. See point 7.

7. Leaking boobs. Picture this; you’re sitting in a nice warm bath, relaxing. You stretch your back by bending forward (well bending semi-forward in my case but enough to have my lady-bags in the water) and when you sit back up, you feel a little different. You’re not quite sure why, but you then look south and lo-and-behold – there’s white-ish stuff busy expelling itself from your body, down your body. It’s awesome. No it really isn’t. Yes, the hot water does have an effect and will encourage the ‘leaking’ but it’s especially awesome when it happens when you’re sitting behind your desk at work. With just a normal bra on. No boobie pads. And wearing a green top. Awesome.

8. Stretch marks. No, not tiger strips. Stretch marks. Wanna know why they’re not tiger stripes? BECAUSE I’M NOT A DAMN TIGER! Stretch marks are awful, and they bring down a woman’s confidence something chronic. Some women deal with them just fine, seeing them as a part of the pregnancy miracle. Me? Nuh-uh. They’re awful and hideous and are the reason my beautiful black bikini has been in hiding for the past 5 years. Bloody bastards.

9. RLS. Restless Leg Syndrome. Found in 10%-25% of pregnant women, mainly in their 3rd trimesters. And guess who just developed it? Yup. Me. Although I didn’t just develop it. It’s been my nasty friend for the past month or so. Go and look up RLS. It makes poison ivy seem like a treat.

10. The inability to climb 16 stairs without feeling like you’re an 80 year old emphysema patient. Ok it’s not that bad; emphysema is a very awful, horrible disease, but for me, who in January was running half marathons (21.1km) in under 3hrs (that’s pretty good for me) to feeling like my chest is going to explode after those 16 damn stairs, it’s pretty crap. My fitness is gone, and even though my plan was to try and stay as fit as possible during this pregnancy, it hasn’t worked out that way. In actual fact, I’m about to lose my gym benefit through my medical aid. Oh wait, I have already. Ironic. Yes I know that my lungs are ALSO being squished and have no real room to work at their full capacity, but not being able to breathe = DEAD.

11. Number 1. As in wee. Or the constant need to. It’s like my body is sticking to the pregnancy schedule to the T, because literally the day I entered my 2nd trimester, my bathroom breaks nearly halved, if not more. I have been in my 3rd trimester for just over a week now, and I may as well get IT to set up a network point in the bathroom for me. Thank God my desk is like 7m from the bathroom door. Otherwise it wouldn’t be pretty. For me. And the hilarious thing (if that wasn’t already so funny) is that I need to pee even when I haven’t drunk anything.

12. Sleep. BWAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

13. Knowing that I get to hold 2 perfect, precious miracles in 3 months time? Yeah. It’s worth it.

Will I be doing it again?

WAH HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

The plan to close this factory for good was made on the 14th of July 2014, when it was discovered that there wasn’t 1, but 2 tummy invaders.

No, I don’t do pregnant well. If I could press a button and have a baby delivered to me then I would. But feeling my son and daughter move inside of my tummy, seeing the awe in my daughter’s face when she places her hand to feel them move, really is all that matters. Knowing that my babies are growing, and are healthy, is all that matters. Knowing that my babies already know me as their mommy.

I wouldn’t change it for the world.

G

in summer

Bee’s will buzz
Kids’ll blow dandylion fuzz
And I’ll be doing whatever snow does in summer…

A drink, in my hand
My snow up against the summer sand
Probably getting gorgeously tanned, in summer…

I’ll finally see a summer breeze
Blow away a winter storm
And find out what happens to solid water
When it gets warm…

And I can’t, wait to see
What my buddies all think of me!
Just imagine how much cooler I’ll be
In summer!

Ba da, da duh…
Ba da da daaa da daaa…
The hot, the cold are both so intense
Put ‘em together, it just makes sense!

Raaaaapatada da dadada da daaaa dum!
Winter’s a good time to stay in and cuddle
But put me in summer and I’ll be a…
Happy snowman!

When life gets tough I like to hold onto my dream
Relaxing in the summer sun
Just letting off steam…

Oh the skies will be blue
And you guys’ll be there too…
When I finally do what frozen things do
In summer!

In summer!

Yes, those are the lyrics to Olaf from the Disney movie “Frozen” In Summer song that I have just typed out from memory. And yes, I sang the words as I typed them out! I also know the lyrics to the Coronation Song, Do You Wanna Build a Snowman, Let It Go… Yes, pretty much every Frozen song! This is due to a) having the cd in my car permanently and b) my daughter is Olaf in her year end concert and we have been practicing this song for weeks so that she can be the best that she can be :)

Thanks Daily Prompt for the awesome smile that is on my face right now :)

G